Politics - News Analysis

Americans in Hysterics After Trump Humiliates Himself by Releasing a Statement About His ‘Hole in One’

Former President Donald Trump never gets any less funny.

I don’t mean that to say I think he’s humorous, of course. He couldn’t tell a good joke if it was his birthdate and he got carded for smokes. I mean that he is unintentionally hilarious at his own expense. All. The. Time.

Today, in what I promise was a really real thing that actually happened, Trump released a statement so funny that it was almost impossible to write about it.

Almost.

Many people are asking, so I’ll give it to you now, it is 100% true. While playing with the legendary golfer, Ernie Els, winner of four Major and approximately 72 other tournaments throughout the world, Gene Sauers, Winner of the Senior U.S. Open, Ken Duke, and Mike Goodes, both excellent tour players, I made a hole-in-one. It took place at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, on the 7th hole, which was playing 181-yards into a slight wind. I hit a 5-iron, which sailed magnificently into a rather strong wind, with approximately 5 feet of cut, whereupon it bounced twice and then went clank, into the hole.

Playing with that group of wonderful, talented players was a lot of fun. I won’t tell you who won because I am a very modest individual, and you will then say I was bragging — and I don’t like people who brag!

First of all, Donnie, nobody was asking. I promise. Secondly, of all the things that never happened, this didn’t happen the most. If any golfer is legendary, it’s you, for your penchant for lying and cheating at the game.

But that last bit — “I don’t like people who brag” — that has to be the funniest part of all. Literally no one on the planet brags more than you, and you idolize people who brag.

I love a good joke as much as the next guy, but this is ridiculous.

Twitter had a field day:

meet the author

Nicole Hickman is a lifelong Democrat and political activist who first cut her teeth as a teenager volunteering for Mike Dukakis’ presidential campaign. She has worked and volunteered for John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, HFA (Hillary For America) and Organizing For Action. She’s passionate about liberal and progressive causes, and considers President Obama her most favorite president ever. She holds her Bachelor’s from Boston College and her Master’s from Columbia University, both in Economics. When not working as a writer, she enjoys traveling and spending time with her three college-aged children.

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