Politics - News Analysis
Americans in Hysterics After Trump Humiliates Himself by Releasing a Statement About His ‘Hole in One’
Former President Donald Trump never gets any less funny.
I don’t mean that to say I think he’s humorous, of course. He couldn’t tell a good joke if it was his birthdate and he got carded for smokes. I mean that he is unintentionally hilarious at his own expense. All. The. Time.
Today, in what I promise was a really real thing that actually happened, Trump released a statement so funny that it was almost impossible to write about it.
Many people are asking, so I’ll give it to you now, it is 100% true. While playing with the legendary golfer, Ernie Els, winner of four Major and approximately 72 other tournaments throughout the world, Gene Sauers, Winner of the Senior U.S. Open, Ken Duke, and Mike Goodes, both excellent tour players, I made a hole-in-one. It took place at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, on the 7th hole, which was playing 181-yards into a slight wind. I hit a 5-iron, which sailed magnificently into a rather strong wind, with approximately 5 feet of cut, whereupon it bounced twice and then went clank, into the hole.
Playing with that group of wonderful, talented players was a lot of fun. I won’t tell you who won because I am a very modest individual, and you will then say I was bragging — and I don’t like people who brag!
Here's Donald Trump's statement on the hole-in-one he made over the weekend playing with Ernie Els, Ken Duke, Gene Sauers and Mike Goodes. Trump says it was a 5-iron from 181 which "sailed magnificently into a rather strong wind, with approximately 5 feet of cut" pic.twitter.com/vnUYBV1PFS
— Dylan Dethier (@dylan_dethier) March 28, 2022
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First of all, Donnie, nobody was asking. I promise. Secondly, of all the things that never happened, this didn’t happen the most. If any golfer is legendary, it’s you, for your penchant for lying and cheating at the game.
But that last bit — “I don’t like people who brag” — that has to be the funniest part of all. Literally no one on the planet brags more than you, and you idolize people who brag.
I love a good joke as much as the next guy, but this is ridiculous.
Twitter had a field day:
He even lies about the damn wind! Playing 181 yds into a slight wind. Yet…the ball sailed magnificently into a strong wind?! I bet it never even happened
— Mike Weston (@themcw40) March 29, 2022
A 5 iron 181 into a slight wind would require a swing speed of at least 100MPH, at the age of nearly 76 that’s an incredible feat of athleticism but it’s no surprise when you consider he’s won 18 club championships.
— Danny Nelson (@danny_danny57) March 29, 2022
As the first line ends it tells me I have to read no further. The rest is not true.
— Jeff Jones (@jljsrwa) March 29, 2022
It does seem odd that he is playing with all these legendary pro golfers, but not one of them even has a ball on the green, while Trump has a hole-in-one. Amazing!
— Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦 (@RonFilipkowski) March 29, 2022
It’s totally wrong to pray for anyone to die. That is what I’ve always been told
— Mark Shapro (@MarkShapro) March 28, 2022
When you have your own golf courses and play golf every f**cking day for free, it's bound to happen eventually. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then. WGAF?
— Chargers addict ⚡️⚡️⚡️🌻🌻🌻 (@CatsStillRule) March 28, 2022